Just when I thought my days were getting worse... ..............................

it still aint getting any better *bleh*

Anyway JK came over to my house the day before and yesterday. I gathered he is trying to make up for lost time before he fly over. We talk abit about him going over to china to work. I mean I aint going to stop him but he told me that I am the one he want to spent the rest of the life with but got to scarfice a bit now for this 1-2 years. *sob* I totally tear at this point because I have no one to go to if I wanna grumble. I dont dump them on my pals because I think I bore them with my ald plentiful grousal.. hee ...

No one to help me run errands

No one to be with me 24/7 on sunday

No one to pamper me

No one to play dorky handshake with me

No one to be my bfrd ..booo and I kinda hate it after 6 years....

He say he be coming back every 3 months or I can go over... looking at the bright side of things the monetary gains that will be coming in will be definetely helpful for the wedding. However this is also the high point of our life where we were about to settle down and plan and put a wedding together to celebrate our union.

I mean how would you know If I dont get cancer *choy choy choy!* or die the next year before her come back. What if this will be the last bit of togetherness we will be together and we bid each other farewell together... *sob*

Kinda teary whenever I think about it. He be going really soon and that is exactly 30 days from now and that marks out anniversary for 6 years on the 2nd of sept. Sigh... I really wonder at times if that is an omen.

However wasting my breath saying all these.. I still demand a proposal and nothing less! There! *I know I am still being a bratty smirky princess~* blah.. told you I am complicated!

I am so vexed with life.. so many things coming up!

JK confirmed going to Suzhou to work ald.. and that is just a little bump. Dad's not feeling well for the past week due to depression.. reason because he thought he'll feel better if he's not working. Talk about ironic that sure is... He cannot stop working and he himself knows it too well.  Look at what the break he's taking is turning into a bane!

School started and I sure dont want to jeopardize my school for this term for family reasons again. I ald screwed 1 semester up last year when mum broke her leg. Failed that stupid subject all because I was late in submitting homework and I ald asked for extension godammit! That bloody subject costing me another 1k odd! Sick of the whole thing!

My tiny puny shoulders are giving way. I need help... no one is helping me much except dousing me with more problems. Life is really dreadful now. Job is depressing, life is sad.. geeze.. sometimes you wonder why you still bother to keep on going when the road you are taking seems so dark.. just like a dungeon.. Cannot even see a ray of light.

I think I am falling in depression as well.. sinking into the quicksand.. help... I really need some help!

I love friday so much when I dont have school.. When I start *which is tomorrow* I kinda hate the weekends.. it always means I got to start study, get worried abt my grades and wonder if I can passed by next year. I mean I have to... I am literally poor.. yeah.. like dead broke! If I dont pass it.. I have to pay more for fees...

On another hand ... I like weekend because I get to see my darling and just catch up with him... because if people know us.. we seldom have the chance because both of us are stuck in some nitch shit school half the time after work... And to add even more salt to the wound he probably flying to Suzhou to work in a months time.

Sucky...

I am looking forward to get a real good job soon.. dying to start on the essay on the jet fuel to get that sales exec for jet fuel. Hopefully I can pin that job.. meanwhile got to repolish my resume! I mean a salary of 6 figures.. never in my dreams I will imagine I will get that much in a year..

Cross all your fingers, toes and eyes for me please. I need all the help I have.............

oh abt my life.. I done nothing constructive yesterday but watch TV.. and I absolutely love Apprentice.. and no it is not for Donald Trump =P

JK just called.. he got....... an interview in shanghai next Friday...

Geeze... looks like he is really going to work in Suzhou waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

On another note.. Fang got her flat in punggol just opposite my Block... wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Cannot believe that team I am rooting for in Amazing Race is out. I was starting to like Jim and Marshall.. I really really am dissed .. however I applaud them for finishing the race not too far off.. sigh although they were on the last flight...

Totally hating Chip and Kim because they are proving to me whiny losers... Charla and Mirna ; with using Charla condition to aid them along the way despite saying that the condition should not set them apart... I mean fine make use of that snape and use it to your advantage.. but dont keep harping about how no other team wanna help you and blah blah all the time and stop saying that the dwarfism isnt going to set you apart because fact is no one see it differently cept for the 2 of them.. keep thinking they are of special condition.. geeze..

Got my books for the new semester.. and oh boy.. I have NINE assignments to submit! Cool or what?  BLAH! Got to retake the bloody Socio this year! and the assignments are different... so it means I cannot re-submit my assigments that I did 2 semester ago! Arrgghh!! Wasted effort and vested interest! If mum didnt break her leg last semester I would have pass! Whatever is the case.. I guess it is pretty destined! Oh boy...

 

So what's been up since I went MIA?
 
heh.. I passed the stupid exams and I got Distinction for MEDIA LAW! Yeah.. although I know a lot of people too got it.. but whatever! A distinction is still a distinction! Amazingly I managed to pass that Authorship and Writing crap and Scrape through PR... Ironic actually.. the easiest unit I only managed to scrape through... idiotic.. I decide the teacher is bias =P
 
Just came back from Bangkok on Sunday.  Boss paid for the trip and half for JK and threw in a massage for us too.. heh heh I love the company to bits! Had this amazing time in BKK buying and buying! Bought pots and pans.. dont laugh but they are for the new house. It wouldnt be a good 2 years but whatever.. since I am ald buying some for mum.. Went to Suam Lum night Bazaar too... Cool place.. I really like the place..Found out the lights and whistling bell 3-D picture Teng bought for her new place cost only $20 and $120 respectively.. and what did she paid for them in Sg? $100 and $400 respectively.. and the prices quotes are prices that are not yet haggled yet.. It can go way lower. Chatuchak is heaven sent.. but dammit their size are so 1 size! And my size is nothing like 1 size! *fume* I bought this ultra cool shirt and I am determine to diet to fit into that shirt. I can fit into it alright just hate tummy protruding makes me look like a 6 months pregnant cool looking mum to be.. ha!
 
I and JK spot a few lamps we can visualize to put in the new house. We are absolutely buying them for the new place. BKK we are going again! Maybe we do a relay of snorkelling like last year and drop by BKK.. heh heh..
 
JK will know whether he get the Posting for 2 years or something by month end and he mulling over it..... but who is going to give up expat pay to slog in sg.. I was intially rather upset but I guess I will get through.. I wasnt sure if I can wait for him actually because 2 years totally can change quite a few things.. However I am only being selfish. I can tell you offhand.. if I was given the opportunity I be on the next flight. And with the monetary gain we can afford a lot more things too.. anyway we see how it goes.. And look at the bright side.. I get the car!!!
 
School starting this sat offically which marks the end of my TV vegetating days. I mean with only 6 more subject to graduation.. 7 actually.. dammit! but I can smell it ald! Woh!
 
Counting down to watch Dim Sum dollies and still... looking for a job!
 

I been seeing a whole load of movies these days!

Anyhow watched Supersize me and Mean girls..

Nice show and frankly despite a high fat diet totally crash your liver not unlike alcohols! I am still going to eat the french fries. If I might as well be dead... let me die ... a happy fries girl! I mean life's short enough to be abstaining from your fav food!! and my case... nothing beats french fries!!!!!!

Had a ultra mix feeling yesterday night. JK say he got a job offer in china. While the monetary benefits is going to be bucketloads.. it spell another hurdle to this relationship that we both shares. We were planning a house, wedding blah blah .. right now I dont know anymore.. He said to leave our joint in Punggol empty till he is back.. I mean what's the point? There is no guarantee what will happen in the future. He could meet someone else likewise me too... I seen so many long distance relationship which is honestly a honest load of crap! I dont want to wait for the next 2 years and end up with nothing more than a heart break. Not that is will be affirm, but at the same time who is to say that wont change?

At the same time I dont want him to give up a milestone in his career and missed an opportunity that doesnt come often. He asked if he can go.. of course he can! I mean who am I to say no? Especially after he declare his frd whose wife given birth like 1 month before and he jet off to Taiwan to get an overseas posting. I mean no way in hell I will be able to do that and stay in Singapore to rear his bloody kid. I'm not a maid and it takes 2 to being up a child. If this is the arrangement I doubt I ever want to have a child in the first place.

As much as I like to be graceful and tell him to go ahead I cannot help but feeling marred and daze. I have no wish to plan a wedding by myself. What is the point if you are doing it along.. there aint much fun and the important weave of the relationship is not going to be there if i planned it all by myself. Everything will just be about me and no one else! arrghh!

I hate this sort of dilemma. When no good deals you grumble and ask God why.. and when it comes .. you act like a CID interogating God.. asking the why again.

I told him to go ahead and we sort it out as we come along.. although technically there is not if and buts I dont want him to go with a heavy heart. If he is going to take the posting for long that is more than 2 years. I trust I will look beyond stuff at present level and move on. Sigh..

This is heavy and super crappy! I hate it! I want to blog happy thoughts! blah! whatever!

Woo.. Watched the 'Apprentice' featuring the gas man Donald Trump.. It would have been better if my pest of a niece didnt like force me to contest the speed of fixing the 5 pcs Jigsaw puzzle with her.. For a while I was like what the hell am I competing with a 4 year old on 4 lousy set of jigsaw. For the record I was the winner of the jigsaw compeition! Sam the eccentric guy from the versacorp team actually got ousted FINALLY!
Catfight alert again next week! Fun fun fun!! That omarossa.. is one hellava bitch.. geeze! To reach that part of the ladder it doesnt surprise me! Imagine you are playing consultant of the United States PRESIDENT! Not some dumb girl guides president! If you aint bitchy.. you are out of the race!

Talking about race .. The amazing race is back! Yeah and I feel so sorry for the dad and daughter team because the dad had a great fall and almost rip his whole leg off! I'm glad his 25 stitches *ouch* are not in vain..

secure tickets to watch 'supersize me' tonight at Plaza Sin... Yeah.. Finally!!! Cannot wait.. counting down..

Depress the no jobs came knocking on my door yet *sob sob*

JK fetch me for dinner last night to spag. at paragon! Yummy.. so love the fetuccine until I got so sick of it! put it in company tab so I ordered a big chocolate shake.. hee hee...

he's being sweet these days.. I guess the trip to Brazil made him missed me or something. Knowing us, we dont even meet up on weekdays and not to say place so far like orchard. Even if we meet up it be ard my place.. heh heh..

Counting down to weekend now... 4.33 ... 4.34.... 4.35.. why the hell is 5.30 so difficult to reached!!!

I hate the weather.. totally reminds me of dreadful london.. not that I been there before but the way ppl had been describing that place.. down and lack sunshine.. I think it will be apt to describe it that way! Nevertheless, I still appreciate the possible for a work stinct in London.. *reminds me to write a note of that in my prayers~* =P

Dying to catch 'Supersize Me'.. the show about the man who ate Mcdonalds for 30 days and got something extra beside his happy meal toys. Nothing illict just something very unhealthy. I think got to do a Singaporean version of eating everyday at the hawker... think it probably kill the guy after the 13 day or something..Imagine daily char kuay teow or hokkien prawn mee. It probably aint helping much with the hawker generous portion of lard in literally everything that Chinese eat. Whatever is the case.. I still dig the lard lah.. love them in my noodles and love the crunch.. Yummy! Now that you notice I am not at all healthy.... I happen to love to EAT everything big or small.. ok I swore off shark fin and veal meat so not exactly everything big and small.. trying my best to turn vegan but it doesnt help that I irk the sight and smell of celery, onions, carrots and blah blah.. Whatever

The weather is cold.. and I am bore at work! I wanna get a new job! I have enough of everything here! Please grant me a job! and I mean FAST!!!!!!!!!

I'm babbling in my post as usual.. Just ignore me please!

MY honey's back and I have to take the bus like fellow commuters yet again. Makes me even more determine to find another job that requires me to have a car. So I can have a valid reason to buy 1.. ho ho ho...

Saw this ultra super duper beach mat with backing called baljo mat from Ikea in a magazine. EXACTLY what I and JK had been eyeing!!! And the price.. 19.90. Only bummer crap.. dont think it is available in Sg at least yet. Talk abt luck.. Anyhow I am going to prowl there on saturday! Hopefully they have it ald or something!!

I cannot wait for next week! Going on a holiday! Yeah yeah!!

Watched Spiderman! Super exciting actually. I like the little bits actually than the big hoo ha with Dr Oct. I like the way Tobey came out of the janitor room with the pizza.. ho ho... and his boss at the daily bungle.. ! That character I like also! Dont know why but a bit... heh heh heh... fun. I mean your son got ditched at the altar and all he thought immediately was to hold the caviar! Who can forget the violin lady singing 'spiderman spiderman..' I also love the part when Peter Parker threw away 'spiderman' from his life and the theme song 'Raindrops are falling on my head'. Nerdy but cool.. hooo..Or the part where he's buying flowers to go to MJ's play.

One thing I dont get it.. What is the deal with kirsten Dunst. I didnt think she was awful pretty or anything. Passable but that's about it but her popularity is taking an all time surge and I have absolutely no clue to that!!! And her acting... I am no pro but she always have this just 1 look on her face...hmm.. I'm probably bias.. oh well.

And the eyes of Tobey and Kirsten and Aunt may .. geeze they are like marbles!Their pupil are so blue and huge!! It's like you can almost drown in it or something.. Why dont we have eyes like them..

duh..

My day of having a car is so over... JK came back this morning from Brazil and I went to fetch him from the Airport... Duh.. I was just enjoying the freedom! Manz! This totally sucks bucket loads!

Not that I was bringing the car out a whole load.. In fact on Sat, I stayed at home the whole day after breakie at mcdonalds in the morning with mum and niece. All I did with the car was to park it downstairs and keep a constant piereced ear to the 'tattling gadgets' ladies with their pretty umbrella in tow. Anyhow.. I reckon why the hell do they wanna catch that few cars at this deserted carpark, instead they will be prowling high traffic given it is Saturday! Damm.. my theory is good!

On Friday I went to this class gathering. Granted that YX say she have to absolutely meet her insurance agent despite me calling her 8 days in advance to book her. Granted that Audrey have to meet her frd which she meet so often nvm that I booked her 8 days om advance. I was kinda pissed! What sorta rubbish is that! I mean all in all.. just that there wasnt so much thoughts in anything.. whatever! I mean should meeting insurance agent and a frd which you meet on a fornightly basis so dammit important than classmates you might not have met for 10 years.. FINE!!! I give Sharon and Jules credit for admitting they have a chalet appointment and the latter was on MC for the day.

Duh! the only thing I hate is the thoughts.. I mean here we are trying our dammest to put everything aside to go out and just catch up... we have clowns that think otherwise. So summarise the whole thing.. there will be certain people I am going to leave out on the next outing and that is so definetely lor! No that I am petty or crap but the whole effort is just not worth it. And in my opinion never ever organise outings via emails. I rather just pick up the phone and call. Say so much of my thoughts and effort.. hehe *I'm shameless I know!*

Met up with Pearlyn on that day. It was nice to be truthful.. she isnt the friendliest person in the entire planet in the past.. but does it matter? She's cool! So the regular ppl turn up.. Peis, Fang, Sumei, PEarls, ME and zohter... so it wasnt so much of a class outing.. WHATEVER!!! Consolation is that we try to establish the link we once shared! It's hilarious..but come to think of it.. if it wasnt fate we could become complete strangers on the road. Anyhow.. I am glad I know them.. We went to this groovy places at bugis, 'CAN CAFE' something abt the place kinda mean my nose itch.. is not real dust but the 'vintage' decors with the acordian and masks and bottle crates artistics stewn all over the place make me squirm and uncomfy with the itch in the nose. But I must compliment the drinks. Their milk shake is YUMMY!!!! so many variety and so thick, creamy, chocolately, calories ladden and super spiffy!

this is getting to be a longish one.. but I like! I mean this is the one with the car!!!!!!!!

Yesterday brought fang and zohter to see my flat in PG.. after that went to compass point ate fast food and laze at starbucks for hours! It was so cool to be able to do that without studying or whatever crap. It was so super duper relaxing lor... After that zohter went for tarot readings .. me headed home to vegetate..fang went to meet her frd..

After 2 hours.. zohter called me up and we went to laze somemore and shop at Tampines Mall..bought nothing because we are saving but zohter bought some stuff... watched 'Windstruck'. If anyone know me I totally dont watch koreans shows or drama serials sorta person. I get irritated by them but I have to say windstruck was so sweet! The guy was so hmmm.. sweet and the girl was so hmmmm strong... totally unreal in this world. I mean given the size of ego of males will they ever.. ever let their women be stronger or independent.. The show was hilarious and at the same time sad. I heard a lot and I mean a lot of sniffles from girls and guys I reckon. ME... I felt sad but not to the extend of shredding tears lah.. Anyhow I thought the couple in the show was fun! but reality has it.. that is just a cinematical colloboration. Guys that sweet.. belongs right in there, those cinema screen that is.. If there was even such a person I betcha he be seen like a wuss!

I am going to so be a movie addict these days because I wanna catch :

Spiderman (Got to catch it what!! I think the penal code punish ppl who dont watch it or something.. so I wanna play safe.. heh heh)
Baran (Iranian show at Lido! Wanna watch!!!)
Notebook (saw the trailer and die die wanna watch)
Supersize me (the show abt the author eating 30days of mcd. and how he gain weight, suffer from depression, got high cholestrol or something.. blah blah)

I so like this period after the exams.. so ultra ultra relax!! While ppl start school I am enjoying my life .. working away *blah!*

CatFight next week on 'Apprentice'! Yummy!!! Although I would personally recommend Trump to go get help from Yunan or something.. anyhow with that much of money I go bald! Just for the hell of it!

heh heh.. I have a thing for seeing girls claw at each other. Dont ask me why but I can guarantee you it is not a fetish! I love the details they spew and when they try to knock each other out. That is the whole boring thing when I was in poly.. Guy when they bitch.. hmmm.. they do it rough and no details and when words fails.. they try the sticks and stone method. Anyhow with a ratio of 4:18 female to male, minus off 1 girl who eventually drop out.. there was like totally zilch catfight.

On the contrary I have seem them for like my entire career of education prior to Poly because Convents girls have it like a daily affair! Is like before the daily bread they add a clause that state 'thou shall be involve either as a participant or onlooker of a catfight before the day end, Amen'

Anyhoo.. life's friviolous and simple.. so unlike complicated me!! hmmm!!!

Was trying to perfect my 1 hand parking skills at this deserted carpark near my house for like half and hour yesterday at 11pm.. Switch off the headslight but trying to use the right hand to steer in to the parking lot. Almost suceeding.. a bit more practise and I can be the 1 hand parking girl. After this I am going to try the parallel 1 arm parking.

Ok .. got to work ald.. have been lazing the whole morning!