Ever since I found out I was preggers, I have been visiting this motherhood forum daily and at times reading through the threads. I have skim the threads for the mothers who have miscarry but mostly loiter at the thread of March 2010 which was the EDD of my babies if they had survived. I never thought I would one day feel so at home at the miscarry thread until the babies went away.
I still peep at the mother to be thread of March 2010 and imagine how my babies would develope with the rest of the mothers at times. I get jealous whenever I see how the mothers complains of tiredness and morning sickness. So many girls in our threads would kill to experience that in exchange for a healthy babe in our arms. Of course being sensitive no one ever go to the mother to be thread and tell the rest of these girls that we would die for all these symptoms on the condition we have a baby in our arms after 9 months.
Another thread I read regularly was the 2 weeks waiting period. This thread is for girls who are waiting to check if they conceive or otherwise. Every Single girl yearn for the chance to leap into motherhood at the expense of everything! Whenever I read the thread I feel for everyone of them because the path that is infront of them or rather US is so difficult and no damn soul would understand unless they are in our predicament.
Some fellow forumers feel these girls are spiteful when they scourn friends or rather... fiends mock them about childless in the pretence of concern. Some think that the girls are unfilal to inlaws because they complain about the stress the inlaw give them when they are still childless after years of marriage. Some think the girls are going over the top being so upset about being childless/miscarriage etc etc...they comment on the girls along the lines that we have to earn karma and shouldnt lament like that. We cant blame the world for this happening our life but be thankful for whatever we have and sometimes I silently thought they also meant we should thank them for reminding us to be all God gracious.
Right... like they know better...
We are like part of the badlands population from the book "The Chrysalids" where blasphemies are not accepted and any wrong in the normal world are isolated to that part of town known as the badlands. Any thing that do not look right are relegated to that part of the world and so are the threads we are in. Our blasphemy in this case was trying to recover from our grieve of our loss and our inability to have children. Especially in a forum people are quick to judge and we accepted the terms when we write in sync with our inner thoughts.
Never be quick to judge and think we are smarter than thou. Unless we have been through the same path of some of these people otherwise I feel noone have the rights to comments. Its always difficult and I heart we have an outlet to express our feelings when we cannot do it in reality. If it is so blaring that Ms Godly feel is wrong I would recommend.. DONT READ!!!
