I didnt know death can crept up to ppl I know on a personal level at so young an age. I am oblivion to the statistics and charts that the local papers carries thinking cot death happen to ppl whom I dont know and will never know and we probably wont even hear of it in Singapore. I feel only pity for ppl whom I think I will never know on a personal level for their sad loss. I was never this sorry or upset albeit not in a devastating sort of way because I have never seen or carry the kid in the first place but it still affect me because I know the kiddo's folks.

I dont know how God works but his mysterious way overwhelm us and makes it difficult to accept. Baby Gabriel is going to go home today and be cremated to be wholly with the Lord. It's unfair but life is cruel and there is nothing we can do to prevent it which makes it difficult. I hope Possum and his wife be well and carry on life and gradually have another kid.

I cannot help but in awe the fragility of life. That little bundle only 3 months old taught lessons that took me all of 29 years to digest.

I hope everything is brighter and to the statistic figures on papers. Those are reality and I hope somehow ppl will unveal the mystery of cot death because it is just senseless to happen and esp on healthy kiddos which makes it all difficult to accept.

As much as I think the hubby is not romantic and that he have a lousy wife who is too lazy to think what to get for him for his birthday ....

-------interruption---------

*disclaimer - I stop getting him things because I think he dont appreciates it. Just check out the wallet and PDA etc I get for him... he dont even use it*

-------interruption--------

....... I appreciate him and although he dont know it because we are the no frills couple (read: we dont celebrate anniversaries , birthdays etc) I appreciate his sweetest thoughts to want to get me a kitchen aid mixer. I have been eyeing one for a really long time and the $600 price tag was a lil too much if you ask me. So he say since the birthday and the 1st wedding anniversary will be coming up and within a span of 2 days he though he can , you know.. spend a little on me. Although his intital response to me when I told him I was considering of getting the mixer and pointed to a blogger who was show-offing her new toys and her bake goods.... 'You got cook like her or not... if you cook like her than okay I get for you..... (-_-;) 'so much for encouragement...

I *heart* him -despite the pragmatism-...

For the record, I'm not getting the kitchen aid until I perfect at least a milestone of receipes that I would set aside and use a journal to record it down. I dont want to invest in something as spiffy as the Kitchen Aid and end up baking like I belong to some play doh class.

I hate it when life doesnt move on and you stuck in the same rut. I am starting to think that nobody wants to hire me and here I am lamenting left right and center that life is so boring it makes watchin paint dry more interesting. Am I doing anything about it? Yes and no..... I wrote the resume... yes.... Was I being all easy and accepting challenges trying to pitch for jobs that falls in that category (read: location wise ; pay; 6 days work week) ... no

So you see, I'm getting nowhere getting a job and with the procrastination that I have about everything down to buying a stupid book it's no wonder I am still stuck in this comfy hole not willing to budge.

Let's put things in perspective but not that I dont want but to take a leap of faith into something I am clueless at makes it daunting and I am fearful that I will leap straight into hell all the 18th floor in Chinese folklore and 40th floor down under in Hindu legend.

Everything looks percuilarly boring and the most exciting thing that happen in the last 1 month was the fact I replace my cell which was just about time because the darn phone is drying me nuts being cranky at the wrong time. Oh and the outing I had with the girls last week was a riot... made me laugh and cried (tears from laughing...) all at the expense of our dear cuppa. I and ran were all analytical of the happenings of her life and laughing about how a simple IT fair can turn into some congregation for her and her friends. IT's deep and I rarely share such laughter with ppl/ frds because they arent on the same frequency.

Work's beginning to look like a real big drag with everyone thinking they can do my job better. It annoy me out of sort with people who think they can change the world with their big analogy of how things should work. I for one would like to take a back seat and see how they plan stuff without my help and see how they falter. Everyone like to play the blame game with me and I hate it absolutely because it's useless junk and being all pointy and lying through your teeth drives me nut. I would like to just land my fist straight into those teeth and plunge down his throat and make them gag on those broken bits that used to be teeth.

Life's is nice still because I get to use the nice flip phone and I have friends who make me roar with laughter albeit we were in one of those nice italian restaurant where everyone spoke like they were in church.

kooky lux