I was feeling really down yesterday for some unknown reasons I seems to already condemn this pregnancy to be another Blighted Ovum.. I didnt feel preggers anymore and it just sucks to the core to have to wait a week for a confirmed verdict from the scan and I more or less ald know the outcome. My Temp were low and I didnt feel warm my pimples cleared up in the last few days, I didnt feel sick when I miss my meals...absolutely just lousy.. and I was usual reading all the miscarriages forum just to prepare myself mentally. Infact when a colleague propose an overseas trip late autumn I said Yes without hesitation because I just find it ridiculous at 6 w and still not fetal pole and felt this wouldnt be any good. Despite being able to detect pregnancy at 10DPO and with no spotting at all. It just wasnt all good afterall. =(

I feel bad that the only time I ever talk to God when I have requests. That is of course apart from those daily prayers and mass I attended throughout my catholic school regime. Since I graduated the only time I ever talk to him was when I need help.. Need divine help *sigh* and imagine you are the one on the receiving end ... I cannot imagine the irritation that will boil it it was me. Ha!

Now with this pregnancy not being able to see the fetal pole as such you can imagine how earnestly I am talking to God daily! *LOL* I pray for a sign and if God have felt it was his will that he want this baby with the other 3 babes ald in his kingdom to go ahead and take him/ her and let me start to bleed. Otherwise give me a sign that everything is well so I can be assure of this pregnancy and not overstressed. Of course I also thank him daily for my dog longevity and agility despite his old age and for God to take him in his sleep and dont let him suffer because it just pains everyone so much.

I am just thankful the dog is well and good and really up to mischief but still we really so love him lah and God have been really kind to us in this aspect and I am sure he appreciates that I starts to thank him instead of asking for help everytime I take effort to pray. When the hubby was attemping to do some typing on the coffee table he squeeze into the small space between hubby and the computer and tried to comprehend what the hubby was doing. So smarty pants lah my old dog! =)

I am also thankful that God decide to want me to relax till the next scan because :


Today, my BBT soar again which I hug so much.
No spotting and crossing my fingers it wont at all
I felt nausea and really although it is such a pain I wont mind it at all
My Girls are aching
I am burping so much than before.

I wont expect a miracle but at least the hopes are alive once again. Just praying really hard!