The much dreaded time had come.. Blockhead is gone on Sunday and wont be back till Chinese New Year. I dont miss him major yet but it be soon.. I feel it..

Talked with Teng on the night he left.. she was telling me all the insecurity and ya dah ya dah... that being a girl and waiting in singapore.. I have everything to lose.. well, it's not as if my folks or our folks for the matter is there to support us like her's and al. Imagine they stand to inherit the cost of sales from the old place at mdm sultan!!! Wherelse for us.. we probably inherit the old stove and the sofa from blockhead parents.. and me I dont want to inherit anything.. I want my mum and dad to live till the moon turn into blue cheese!

That's life, a little bias but something what you can call your very own peppered with the misery, happiness, glee and sadness..I am envious alright.. envious of Teng for what she gets and what I dont.. But I like the envious factor or I wont be pushing myself to work harder and I like the competition, never mind it gets me down at time.. we just got off the phone and she was telling me she got a new offer for a job paying her a freaking 4k PLUS profit sharing. Now I wont be able to top that for sure.. Whatever is the case I am just glad I am where I am.. All part of my hardwork. Never mind that the significant other is far from me.. although I am uber jealous she is able to enjoy the companionship with al and still lead a luxurious life at least everything we have and own is all mine and blockhead cash from scratch , my degree fully paid for by myself while jim's car paid for by him.

That's the green eye monster in me.. ha! So hell.. life's is always not a bed of roses for me.. but where's the significance if it is just soft roses san the thorns! That's what makes everything more memorable and makes me more appreciative with what we earned with our toil, labour and heartache..

Anyway mum was telling to call blockhead to come back and stop working in china yesterday and I was going ...huh??!?! Now you say!?! Whatever is the case he's there and that's the point.And I dont want to have this quarrel with him everytime we on the phone how he didnt give a damn when he took up the job offer ya dah ya dah ya dah... our contact are barely there and the last thing I wanna do is to make both of us fed up with my childish antics. I mean .. I'm no major fan of my tantrum so the less of it the better.

Sigh.. I'm getting depression... I think I am heading for a major one especially in this holiday season. I have never dread the end of the year so much in life and I hope it be the last one I ever felt that way abt the festive season in my life ever again...

But just incase God's wondering.. I still am thankful what I have! loads actually...never mind the trivial stuff!